Week 12: You are NOT Your Feelings: Managing Your Feelings
Past week review (no longer than 10 - 15 minutes).
So, how did the idea that "You are not your thoughts" affect your thinking this past week? Did you put into use any thought management techniques?
Pause for discussion.
Did you ever find yourself using "fat mentality" thinking? How did you handle it?
Now, before we go on to the lesson, does anyone have any other insights or interesting experiences that they think would be valuable to share with the group? What about any questions?
Wait for any response/discussion. (Be sure not to let this run too long or get too far off topic.)
Then, play the lesson. (Next Slide )
After Audio Check-In:
What did you think of the lesson you just heard? Anyone have any thoughts they'd like to share? Questions? "Ah Ha Moments"?
Give people a bit of time to flush out initial reactions before moving on to the next discussion point. If there are no responses, simply move forward.
Discussion Point 1:
Today's lesson was about managing feelings. Does anyone remember how the lesson defined a feeling?
Here's the answer to read if you need it:
The lesson said that feelings are usually your inner reactions to your thoughts about how you responded to a stimulus. It also said that that feelings are just behaviors.
Is this a new way of looking at feelings for you? Why is it helpful to look at our feelings as behaviors?
The answer is: It is helpful because we can control our behaviors.
Discussion Point 2:
The lesson talked about "over-learned behaviors" which it said are basic values and behaviors so deep-seated and so ingrained in us that we never tend to question them but take them as truth.
Can you think of any "over-learned behaviors" that you began to question as you were growing up and becoming more knowledgeable and experienced? Anyone?
Pause for answers. Discuss.
How about "over-learned behaviors" relating to weight issues that you've discovered since you started this course? Anyone?
Wait for the discussion to slow and then move on to next Discussion Topic.
Discussion Point 3:
Today's lesson also gave us several new problem-solving strategies, interventions that we can use to help us manage our feelings for a more positive outcome.
Let's take a few minutes to talk about these strategies and some ways in which we can adopt them to solve some problems in our own lives.
Does anyone remember some of these strategies?
Here are the strategies:
- Readjusting your goals. - Adjusting your expectations of others. - Adjusting your self-expectations. - Giving yourself permission to refuse to dwell on unpleasantries. - Managing your environment to avoid upsets. - Evaluating your beliefs and resolving any conflicting beliefs you may hold. - Rejecting unreasonable ideas. - Doing nice things for yourself. - Providing yourself with non-food satisfaction.
As people come up with a strategy, ask for real-life examples of how they could use it.
Discussion Point 4:
Do you understand the idea of "self-attack" as a diversion and a protection mechanism? Remember the part of the lesson that talked about little Johnny whose parents are divorcing and whose self-blame brought him a feeling of control.
What do you think about this idea? Do you think it is something people really do?
Can you give an example?
Pause for discussion.
Just as you are not your thoughts, you are also not your feelings. Feelings are just behaviors. So, they can be controlled.
The key to managing feelings is very simple: find a better solution and use it instead of the old solution. And the way to do this is to work it out so that you feel better using your new solutions than you would have felt using your old, usually caloric, solutions.
So, work on finding some new and better solutions for yourself. Work on making yourself feel better. That's your goal for this week. Have fun with it!
One last thing to mention before we end today's meeting. Next week’s lesson will require you to have both a pen and paper handy, so please make a note to have these items handy next week.
Track Your Progress: